Birdhouse Factory (Cirque Works) and Soccer

So we did some normal family things.

On Saturday, I took the kids to a Circus/theater performance filled with amazing gymnastics and humor.  Kind of a highbrow version of Barnum and Bailey–it was what I imagine Cirque du Soliel  is like.  Many in the Cirque Works troupe are former olympic and college level gymnasts, with a couple of trapeze artists and a contortionist thrown in for good measure. Continue reading “Birdhouse Factory (Cirque Works) and Soccer”

Mike in dreamland

Mike appeared in dreamland after I hit the snooze button on my alarm this morning.

In my dream, we were outside, and it was springtime.  We were with some other people, perhaps Marley and Avery and Dinny.  Mike was happy, smiling.  I told him I was so glad that he got out of the hospital.  At the same time, I was amazed he had healed with no one visiting him at the hospital.  And I felt terribly guilty that I had not visited him at the hospital. Continue reading “Mike in dreamland”

First, a rant. Then a question about quilters.

Still not a great day.

Before I ask about quilters, let me rant a bit.

I seem to go for a while thinking things are okay, and then the bottom drops out again–you’d think I’d learn the routine.  I just like to think that the despair, grief and sadness will someday be bad memories only.  But they come back into my life like unexpected and unwanted guests with little rhyme or reason for their comings and goings (other than the obvious overall situation).  I have a good week and wham, before I get too cocky they’re back to remind me that I have no business feeling competent, energetic, or even mildly happy.

Continue reading “First, a rant. Then a question about quilters.”

Down the hill we go again–when will this shit ever end?

Note to self: you are no longer allowed to give into the temptation of feeling guilty for having a good (or even a not bad or neuteral) hour, day or week.

These last few days have been hell on earth.  Nothing in particular seems to be different from last week, except that my heart feels crushed and I can’t stop crying.  The weather is beautiful, its the weekend and I know damn well what it would have been like if Mike hadn’t checked out. Continue reading “Down the hill we go again–when will this shit ever end?”

Rollercoaster

An eventful week or two has past; I’ve gone from feeling energetic, almost giddy, to down in the dumps sad and longing for things to be how they used to be, to today’s uninspired blase feeling of caring about nothing.  I can’t quite figure it out. Continue reading “Rollercoaster”