It has been a while since I’ve posted. I’ve been doing a fair amount of private pen-to-paper journaling; much easier on the road than lugging my computer. Besides, it crashed out on me again, and I was wanting to drop things into bare essentials for our trip to Shambhala Mountain Center (www.shambhalamountain.org) during the first week of July.
No cell phone, computer, internet, tv, videos. Tent camping and bathhouses all the way.
The trip was a mixed bag; while it is always difficult traveling with two young chilren, we’re getting the hang of it. They’re both great on airplanes and have become real pros at the mechanics of it all.
However, I didn’t count on being sooooo tired once we got to the retreat center, which by my estimation, is in one of the most beautiful areas in the country, just north and west of Boulder, Co. I’m not sure whether it was the altitude (8,500′) or the fact that I actually had time focus on being a single widowed mom (not an overextended, overly busy single working mom/business owner) or the fact that 90% of the people at this “family camp” were intact, heterosexual,”normal” nuclear families, or that I was PMSing, or most likely some combination of these factors, but I was somewhat stressed, sad, exhausted much of the time on the mountain.
Which is okay. At least I could feel that and I was not by any stretch of the imagination numbed out. The feelings were very apparent, raw. Painful much of the time. Joyful occasionally.
I did have time to meditate, talk to like-minded folks from all over the country, hike, run, cry (a lot), nap, get two massages (wow, were they just what the doctor ordered–thanks Brett), read, feel exhilerated, freakish, lonely, etc etc. And even have a bit of time to digest and feel all of these feelings.
And the kids made friends, visited the beautiful stupa almost every day, attended Shotoku children’s school, do crafts, etc.
Avery is an excellent wildlife spotter; he noticed many deer and two coyotes (very large and not scrawny at all–I almost wondered if they were wolves).
The people at camp, staff and attendees were just so loving, caring and kind. I am grateful to all who were so kind and helpful to us.
I’ll definitely go to SMC again. Perhaps with a nanny or a clearer idea that this type of retreat isn’t about relaxation. It’s about dealing with reality, here and now.